During a very heated debate, my dad says to me ‘Don’t worry, you’re too young to understand.’
I’m too young?
Here are the following situations where I was not too young:
When I have to clean the house
‘Jessica, you are old enough to also be responsible for this house. This house is not a hotel. You should help clean it up.’
When I have to pick up my sister from the station
‘Jessica, you are the older sister. You are old enough to take responsibility for your sister.’
When I ask them for money
‘Jessica, I said I would only be responsible for you until you turned 18. You’re old enough now to make money and pay for it yourself. You’re a big girl now’
However, at the same time, I am actually really afraid of growing old. Really afraid. The other day during work, I watched (yes I actually just stood there and stared) an old man sitting by himself drinking a coffee and having a friand – not friend. When I took his order, it took about 10 minutes as he took his time counting his coins, trying to see whether the $2 was actually a 10c. His hands were old and wrinkly (mine already are so that’s not much of an issue) and moved very slowly. After about 5 minutes of looking at his coins, he realised that he didn’t have enough coins and so proceeded to get his wallet. He took out his wallet, took out a note, stared at it for about 30 seconds trying to decide whether it was a $20 or a $5. Finally, he handed me a $5 and a $2.
‘Is that correct?’
‘No, it’s 7.50 sir’
He then takes another 30 seconds to find that 50c coin that was in the palm of his hands. After paying, he drops his cane.
My heart broke.
Not just because he was old but also because he was alone. After the coffee, what does he do with the rest of his day?
I’m so afraid that I’ll be old and alone. I won’t be able to work and so, what would I spend my days doing?
Just wait for death to come and take me away…?